Twelve days nursing my father in the ‘dying room’ taught me the value of planning for death

A personal account of caring for a terminally ill father in a Queensland hospital underscores the value of advance planning for death and end-of-life medical decisions. The author’s father had signed a legally binding advance health directive, which specified he did not want life-sustaining treatments including cardiopulmonary resuscitation, assisted ventilation, or artificial nutrition—preferences that guided medical care during his final days.

According to a 2025 study by Advance Care Planning Australia, only 33% of Australians have undertaken some form of advance planning, with just 6% having formally completed an advance care directive (ACD). Healthcare professionals report that the absence of documented wishes frequently leads to family conflict during end-of-life situations. Associate Professor Davinia Seah, head of palliative medicine at St Vincent’s Hospital in Sydney, describes instances where family members disagree sharply about treatment approaches, leaving doctors uncertain about whose preferences to follow. When no legal documentation exists and no enduring guardian has been appointed, medical staff must make difficult judgments about which family members to trust regarding a patient’s true wishes.

Producing advance directives at hospitals presents practical challenges as well. Seah recounts a case of an 87-year-old patient with a completed directive stored with her solicitors, creating difficulties in accessing the paperwork when needed. Beyond treatment preferences, advance care directives can include personal values statements—such as whether a patient wants flowers in their room, access to a garden, or favorite music played—that help guide holistic care decisions.

One retiree who developed cardiomyopathy and experienced multiple near-fatal health crises in recent months completed an advance care directive following suggestions from palliative care specialists. His documented preferences include home care during his final illness, pain management, selective acceptance of certain interventions, and organ donation wishes. Healthcare professionals emphasize that having clear written instructions—properly filed and accessible—prevents unnecessary interventionist treatments and reduces family distress during already emotionally taxing circumstances.