Kerr Smith, who played sensitive jock Jack McPhee on the WB series Dawson’s Creek, has released a memoir titled I Don’t Want to Wait: My Life on Dawson’s Creek. The actor, now 53, has spent much of his career attempting to recapture the experience of working on the teen drama, which aired for five seasons starting in 1998. The memoir combines oral history with personal reflection, drawing on conversations with former castmates including Katie Holmes.
When Smith joined the cast in 1998, he had minimal acting experience. About two months into his run, creator Kevin Williamson asked him to meet for coffee, which Smith initially feared meant termination. Instead, Williamson asked Smith to take the character Jack in a different direction. Williamson, who was privately closeted at the time, wanted to tell a story through Jack’s character that reflected his own sexuality. Smith consulted trusted advisors before accepting the role, understanding the significance of portraying a gay character on network television in 1998.
The decision led to Jack’s coming-out storyline and resulted in what became the first kiss between two men on American primetime network television. The scene, filmed in the third season’s finale between Jack and college student Ethan, required ten takes. Smith recalled being nervous during filming, noting that his scene partner was similarly anxious. A director advised both actors that the technical execution should be identical regardless of the genders involved, provided the characters shared mutual attraction and affection.
The portrayal generated significant controversy. Protesters gathered outside the Wilmington, North Carolina studio, though Smith noted they seemed to direct their anger at the storyline rather than at him personally. However, hostility extended beyond the studio gates. While filming a horror movie in Arizona around 2001, Smith discovered his vehicle covered in homophobic graffiti and slurs. He kept the incident private for years before including it in his memoir.
Smith also reflected on how collaborative writing revealed differing perspectives among his former colleagues. During the show’s production, he intentionally pursued roles designed to distance himself from Jack’s character, such as playing a high school bully in Final Destination. Showrunner Greg Berlanti noted in previous interviews that the storyline served as meaningful representation for a generation of viewers navigating their own experiences.
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