‘Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy” Norman Vincent Peale
Almost everyone has times when they wish they’d been more assertive.
The key is to know how to give yourself a lift when this happens. If you can do that you’ll be back to your confident best quickly and avoid getting into a the spiral of beating yourself up over having not been very assertive, and that actually making you less confident and assertive.
As a freelancer this is more important than it is for corporate employees. They have a support system around them to help pick them up. As a freelancer you don’t and so you have to do this for yourself. You also need to be self-aware enough to know when there is a danger of losing your confidence and taking action before it becomes an issue.
OK so if you feel that you’re not at your confident how to you grab a quick boost. Let’s take a quick look at three strategies. If you want to see more strategies take a look at this post from Acuity Training.
- Smile More
“Your smile will give you a positive countenance that will make people feel comfortable around you.”
A smile can transform your day. Not only does the mere act of smiling make you feel better but it will slowly actually make it better.
People respond better to people who smile. Go through your day and all of your interactions with people will be that much better. Over the course of a day that will add up.
Have you ever wondered why some days things all seem to go your way? It’s probably a day when you’ve got a big smile.
- Take Up Some Space
Your body can impact your mind just as your mind can impact your body.
Low confidence will show in your body language, it’s unavoidable. We naturally start to take up less space and our body language closes up. We tend to hunch more. This in turn makes us feel even less confident. This is a spiral to avoid.
You need to make a conscious attempt to change your body language. Stretch out and try to look up not down. This will make you take up more space and open up your body language. This can have a very quick and dramatic impact on your mood.
Experiments have shown that striking a socalled ‘power pose’ for just two minutes has a material change on your biochemistry making you more confident and less stressed. So this is a physiological change not just a way that you’re seeing the world.
Use this to your advantage if you’re having a bad day and try to take up more space. The odds are that after a few minutes you’ll start doing it naturally.
- Take It Slow
Unconfident people tend to rush and hurry. They speak quickly and move quickly. This is another opportunity for a mind / body trick.
If you’re having a low confidence day or trying to build yourself up for a key meeting then after you’ve stretch out (see above) make an effort to move very slowly.
Again it’ll give you a boost and make you feel more confident.
Use all of these tips together and you’ll be amazed how different you can feel in just 5 minutes.