X Reasons Why We Find It So Hard to Change Habits
If you’ve done something a certain way your entire life, it will be incredibly difficult for you to change your pattern of behavior around it. This ranges from directly harmful habits, like routinely consuming harmful addictive substances, to more innocuous habits, like cutting your nails in a specific order. Do something habitually long enough, and it will feel almost impossible to break that habit, even if you’re consciously focused on breaking it.
But why is this the case? Why are we so stuck in our ways and what can we do to be more open-minded and capable of change?
The Accretion of Habits
First, we need to understand the accretion of habits. Habits don’t develop overnight. Generally, they begin to emerge as a response to complicated, interconnected networks of different influences. Your genes, your family history, your personal experiences, and even your moods can drive you to partake in certain actions or abstain from certain actions. And if these drives repeat themselves, eventually you’ll start engaging in the same types of behavior over and over, sometimes without even thinking about the alternatives.
Take this as a simple example. If you’re an average person in the United States, you’ve probably used toilet paper your entire life. You take it as a given, and most of the people around you use toilet paper exclusively as well.
Accordingly, you might be reluctant to start using a bidet. But the fact is, bidets are better than toilet paper in almost every conceivable way. They’re better for the environment, they’re more hygienic, they’re less expensive in the long run, and they can even help you prevent certain health complications like hemorrhoids.
You might freely acknowledge that bidets have all these benefits and more, but still feel absolutely reluctant to make the switch. Why is that the case? Because it took years, if not decades to build up this toilet paper habit – so you can’t just readily discard it because of a single logical argument in an article you read online.
Creatures of Habit
People are also naturally predisposed to keep things the same – even if the state of affairs isn’t especially favorable. There are many potential explanations for this. For example, from an evolutionary biology standpoint, human beings are wired for survival. If a certain repetitive strategy has allowed you to survive for many years, it’s probably worth keeping, even if you can’t pinpoint a logical explanation for why it’s beneficial. For what it’s worth, this is also the explanation for why some people are unnaturally superstitious.
Believe it or not, we live most of our lives somewhat mindlessly, drifting from task to task in our daily routine. Sometimes, our persistent habits stick around not because of some failure of discipline or diligence, but simply because of our absent-mindedness. If you’ve ever had the experience of accidentally driving to work when you meant to drive somewhere else, you know what this is like.
Habits Don’t Exist in a Vacuum
Another consideration we need to make is that habits don’t always exist in a vacuum. In fact, they typically exist in the context of other habits and responsibilities. For example, you might have the habit of picking up a fresh cup of coffee on your way to work; given enough repetition, this can become an integral part of your daily routine. Eventually, it’s going to be hard to avoid making this stop on your way to work, and you might become physically dependent on the rush of caffeine and sugar that you get from it.
Since it’s almost impossible to completely isolate our habits, it’s even harder to break them.
Important Takeaways for Changing Habits
So what key takeaways can you glean from this document to change your habits for the better?
- Don’t take habit change lightly. Some people immediately get frustrated with their inability to break a habit because they underestimate how hard it is to do this. Accordingly, you can increase your chances of success from the outset just by taking habit change seriously. This is a real challenge that deserves your full attention and effort.
- Work on your mentality first. Before trying to change your behavior, try to change your mentality. Most people can’t or won’t brute force themselves into doing something new. It’s much easier to establish an internal motivation from which the new thing becomes natural. Closely examine your relationship to the habit before you attempt to change it.
- Adjust the context surrounding the habit. Similarly, it’s a good idea to adjust the context surrounding the habit, if you can. For example, if you habitually swing by a favorite coffee shop on your way to work, consider taking an alternate route to work so you don’t feel tempted to make the same detour.
- Be prepared for potential relapse. Relapse is common for almost anyone trying to change a habit, and it can be genuinely frustrating to experience one – but you have to be prepared for this possibility. A relapse is not failure; it’s just another step on the journey to change.
Whether you’re interested in breaking a bad habit, starting a new one, or just breaking out of the ruts in your life, it’s important to acknowledge that change is difficult. But with the right mindset and the right strategies, you can accomplish whatever you set out to do.